The Day I Finally Fell In Love With My Baby - Mom Story
I will never forget the day when I saw those two fat pink lines on the pregnancy test kit for the first time! I was happy, tense, apprehensive, all at the same time! A little life was growing inside me and I was to become a mother in 9 months time. I started feeling an amazing bond with this tiny creature almost immediately. I didn’t know whether the baby was a he or a she, and nor did I want to know. All that mattered was my very own baby was growing inside me.
The journey of my pregnancy from conception to delivery, had its own share of ups and downs! I had my fair share of health problems like nausea, thyroid, UTI to name a few. Blood tests were frequent and I discovered an amazing change in me. The same me who was always so scared of needles, injection, was now getting myself pricked more than once every month, without any hesitation, thinking of the well-being of my baby! I guess the bond developed sooner than I had thought.
I also went shopping for my baby in the 7th month of my pregnancy and whatever I would buy, I made sure I would place it on my baby bump, asking my baby if he or she liked it too! It was really fun and I ended up buying quite a few tiny baby rompers, towels, bibs, nappies and so on. I could also imagine my baby wearing those ! Very soon all 9 months passed and I was eagerly waiting for the day when my baby would finally be with me.
Also read: How I Felt When I Met My Sister’s Son For The First Time – Real story
On the day of my delivery, unfortunately my husband who was deported on duty in some other country, couldn’t be there. So, it was definitely not easy for me, to go through most of the things alone. But my baby gave me the courage. I just couldn’t wait to have him or her in my arms after waiting for 9 whole months for this day.
When my baby finally arrived and my doctor announced, “congratulations, it’s a healthy baby girl”, I was on top of the world, for I always wanted a baby girl. She was brought next to me and touched against my cheeks. Surprisingly, unlike what I had thought that I would start crying or touch her, I did neither. For the first time, I felt a little disconnected to the baby who was now crying away at the top of her voice.
For the next 12 hours, I didn’t see much of her. But then again they brought her to my room for her feed and irrespective of me holding her for the first time in my arms I just couldn’t connect. The pain from the stitches were hurting, my baby was just not being able to latch and take her feed, and the nurses just wouldn’t give up, adding to both her agony and mine! In the end, she was taken away angry and hungry and a breast pump was brought to me for pumping out milk for her next feed. This pattern continued for the next couple of days I was there. But somewhere inside, I had started feeling guilty. My baby wouldn’t latch and neither was I completely in love with her like I had thought it would be, something like in movies!
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She used to come, keep crying and then taken away. Since I had some problems post birth, i was not able to go to the feeding room, so she was brought to me everytime. Then finally on the 4th day she was able to latch and started sucking! The flowing of milk from my body to her tiny mouth, under all the little pressure she could put on my breasts, felt like a feeling I never felt before. I started laughing! It was actually a wonderful and celestial feeling! I guess that was the beginning of bonding between both of us. It took me 4 days to connect to me baby, with whom I had felt a stronger connection when she was in my womb!
I guess it happens. For some moms, It might take a longer time and some moms may also feel symptoms of postpartum depression. But i would suggest, take it easy. Every mother is different, every pregnancy is different. Its okay not to fall in love with your child the very first time that you see him or her or hold them. There is no magic and there are no set rules. Your baby and you will definitely connect, whether be it over feeding or sleeping together or even during rough patches. Don’t hurry and don’t worry. Let time decide how and when this beautiful mother baby bond will take shape!
Also read: Clean Clothes, Happy Kids, Happier Mommy – Mom Story!
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